Friday, January 21, 2011
Sad
Sometimes, even when you sacrifice your whole world for them, your children may just not make the right choices, do the right thing or want to be in your life. It is very heartbreaking, but nothing can be done anymore but just sit back and go on with our lives and hope one day he will want to be part of our lives. This same situation has happened before and I wont shed tears over it anymore, nor will I beg for him to be part of our lives.. I have 5 other children to have to worry about and make sure they are okay. The sad thing is the reasoning behind this, it isnt situation of being on one side or the other, its about maintaining a relationship with a child whom we love and adore and want to be part of his life, just like we want to be part of ALL our grandchildrens lives. Im tired of the lies and the disrespect and I just am not willing anymore to have that. I know this is a bit of a ramble, but that is how im feeling right now and needed to just let it out without actually "letting it out"
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I'm so sorry you're hurting. There is nothing like the hurt one of your children can inflict. I went through hell with my oldest daughter when she was 16 and 17. It really didn't end for years. I remember crying to a girlfriend and she told me this... "You are only as happy as your unhappiest child" It's so true. It doesn't matter what is good in my life.. that one unhappy child/situation with child can bring it all tumbling down.
ReplyDeletePaula that is EXACTLY how I feel.. The other 5 are doing well and happy as clams, and I should be thrilled with that, BUT my heart aches on the inside. Its weird because he has inflicted so much sadness to this whole family that you would THINK it would be easy to let him walk out of our lives.. But it just isnt. I hope one day he realizes what he is doing and what he is losing. My heart cant take much more of it. Paula you really made me feel better with your comment. I was begining to think I was a defective parent.. hugs, friend.
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