Sad

Well today we said goodbye to our 1st born.. AGAIN.. He deployed today. I have said goodbye to him before, this is his 2nd deployment. Words cannot describe having to say goodbye to your child as he/she is about to go to war.. It is heart wrenching. I carried him for 9.5 months and 47 hours of labor. I was with him everyday of his life. Ive seen him in the best of times and some of the worst of times. Ive wanted to hug him and strangle him, BUT I always love him. My fear is of course the worst that could happen to him.. My heart would die, Id worry and analyze my whole life and wonder all kinds of things.. All day I have played back in my mind all the happy and fun times with Nicholas. Ive said it many times, I dont like ANYONE having to deploy, but Sal deploying doesnt bother me as much as Nicholas, not because I love him more or he is more important, BUT Sal is a grown up man, LOL Nicholas is our son and in my mind he is always 8 and sweet. He has alot to stay strong for and I pray for his safety and for the safety of all who serve.. Everyone there is someones son or daughter... Love You, Nicholas..