So today I got to thinking about who I really am. Of course I am the obvious-Daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, co worker, etc.. When I was young, I was DEFINATELY a people pleaser, too a fault really. Always eager to please my parents but never quite cutting it with my mom. I always thought if I lived how THEY wanted me to live, that I would be the perfect child....In doing that I really lost myself at a very young age. At almost 41, i'm finally almost exactly who I want to me-THE REAL ME.. I wished I would have realized this at a much younger age, haha.. C'est La Vie, nes pas? So, I want to introduce you to ME.. Well, the me I am today.
I'm Mary. I am still the wife of Sal, mom to Nicholas, Ashlee, Cassidy, Anthony, Dominic and Roman. Sister to Ronni, BFF to Julie, Daughter to Susie, Ron and Tom, HAPPILY the MiMi to Dominic G, Kaydence M and Nicholas G. I shoot from the hip and I am honest. You may not always like what I have to say, but you WILL get the truth. Im PASSIONATE about my family and will love and defend them to the death. I no longer have room in my life for people who are takers and takers only. Life is too short. I am semi high maintenance, I love some luxuries in life. I can be a snob, I won't lie, it is NOT my favorite quality about myself, but it is the truth. I have regrets and failures-trying to always work on that, not sure how. Here are some of my regrets and how I want to try and get over them.
*Not having my dream wedding-It is what it is and whilst we didn't have a wedding, we are married just the same. He is the best thing in my life and THAT is what is important.(I tell my brain this all the time, but on the flip side, it sucks. I would have made a lovely bride and it would have been nice to have a picture or 2)
*Not being as forgiving as I should-People change and bygones, should be just that really. Somethings are hard to forgive, but they must be forgiven to lighten the load.
*Getting my education-I still have time, i'm not THAT OLD, LOL.
*Never making time for grown up vacations with my guy-We are trying to remedy that, well I am trying.. Sal isn't a great tryer in regards to vacations, but hey, everyone has faults :).
*Letting people make me feel guilty-TAKE NOTE, that will NOT be happening anymore...
*Not speaking up when I should-Again, take NOTE, that will not happen again.
*Not following my dreams-One of the biggest regrets, one that cannot change really and PROBABLY for me the hardest to let go.
Life is just too short to not live the way you want to. I certainly don't want to die, knowing I lived how everyone else wanted me to and not how I wanted to.
My military spouse advice du jour:
I love being an Army spouse and I am not ashamed to say it.. Lately I have seen so many negative topics about it and frankly it irritates me. This can be a wonderful experience or it can be hell, your choice, so suck it up buttercups. If you don't like it, then have a chit chat with your soldier and figure it out, but do NOT make others suffer your wrath of negativity. Yep, soldiers work long hours and yes pay gets messed up and yes we go through deployments-But we all come out of those. I can tell you that 20 plus years goes by in the blink of an eye, but being a negative nancy will make that 20 years seem like a zillion.
That is all for now-smooches!
Mary,
ReplyDeleteYour advice is very true. 20 years does pass in a flash. Glad that you have figured out yourself. Im still working on it. Tell Spearhead I said Howdy
Mary,
ReplyDeleteShannon will be leaving soon so I guess I sorta feel a little negative right now but for the most part the military has been good to us. I know that Shannon agrees. I vow to not be a negative Nancy this next year and pray it goes by as fast as the last 10 years! P.S. Hawaai is an awesome vacation spot;-)
LOL Pam-You my friend may have your negative nancy moments, youve gone through WAY more than your fair share of deployments :) I will try and keep you entertained for the year :):) Love ya my friend
ReplyDeleteLove this post. I too, have found my comfort spot in my 40s. It's so nice to not be distracted by the silly things that I thought were important in my younger years.
ReplyDeleteMy main goal as an Army spouse right now is to represent my husband well, as he works this job. I realize people are watching me and I want to be a good example. Thank God for my real buddies who allow me to let it all go!!
Now you'll think I'm a stalker...but this post caught my eye before I could click away. LOL I hit my thirties and did the same thing... found me and said, too bad if you don't like it to other people. Not that people were saying they didn't like it. so, really, I was saying it to myself. :D
ReplyDeleteMatt and I hang out with a man after church who was in the Army. He says to us... when a soldier asks about life at his new assignment/station, will he like it? The answer is directly related to one question.
How did you like your last station?
A1: Oh I loved it! Got a long with everyone. Made some great friends.
Well then, you're going to love it here!
A2: It was awful, there was nothing to do! They were all a bunch of idiots.
Oh, well, you're going to hate it here, too.
:D And isn't that the truth?! Chose your happiness. No one else can do it for you.