live, laugh, love..

Well yesterday was a busy day. The little boys had a birthday party to attend for their friend Wyatt and we had a nice time. Then I was off to my mary-bye-bye-paloooza!! We all met at BJ's Brewhouse and had a fun time. In attendance was, Jennifer, Anna, Laurie, Lisa, April, Donna and Courtney. Lots of laughs and just a nice time. Jennifer got me a Vera Bradley tea cup, HELLO ADORABLE!!!!! and Anna gave me a starbucks giftcard to buy more and more green strawed deliciousness!!! I will miss these ladies and Im sure will see some of them in the near future :) Poor Laurie, she was a champ coming because she was in LABOR!!!!!She left for the hospital right after dinner AND PAZOOKIES!!! She had the baby early this morning... A Fabulous sweet pea named Abigail Grace and she is beautiful..Her nickname shall henceforth be PAZOOKIE!!! Congrats Mike and Laurie and Mikey on the latest addition to your great family! 18 years ago today we added to what was a small family then, with the birth of our 3rd precious doll. 18 years ago in Frankfurt Germany 2 young kids with not alot of money and tons of love and dreams gave birth to Cassidy Renee', at 1029am, weighing in at 7lbs 14 ozs. She had a rough start in life and nearly didnt make it that day, but she is a fighter and refused to give up. Its crazy to think she is 18 now. Its very bittersweet. She has grown into such a fine young lady and we just love her to bits. When she was born, she had red hair and blue eyes and looked like a little angel, she looked like my dad(she was born 1 day after his bday) I like to think she was a little gift to us from him. So, Happy Birthday Cassidy, we love you and cant wait to see what your future holds for you!!

My dad..

Today would have been my dads 61st bday. I am now older than he was when he died. The ache in my heart from my dads death 22 years ago, is an ache that just never goes away.. I miss soo many things about him, he was such a funny dad. Our dad wasnt perfect, BUT he was pretty darn close as a father. Lately I have missed him more than normal and it feels like he died recently. Of course I have selfish reasons for wanting him here. I want him to see his grandkids and the men that Ronni and I have married and be part of our daily lives. I do see alot of him in my 6 kids and Ronni's 2 kiddos. MAYBE because I want to see those things to make me not miss him as much, or MAYBE they just have some of his traits. My dad was the BEST dad for daughters.. He showed us how to be treated, he showed us that men can and do clean and help raise their children, he put his kids 1st, ALWAYS.. He was strict when he needed to be and always papa bear with us. I miss him singing in the car, LOUDLY I might add, I miss his HUGE laugh, he had the best laugh EVER!!! He did most of the cooking in our house and loved to make breakfast for dinner. I cant believe today is his Bday, we had such fun bdays with tons of people at the house, bbqing, laughing, playing jokes. Always a fun time. Daddy, I hope today especially you know that we are thinking of you, missing you and always loving you.. Til' we meet again. Happy Birthday daddy!!

Tears, laughter and pride

Well, yesterday was it for us here at Ft Bliss. Sal had his COR (Change of responsibility). Sal choked back MANY a tear yesterday during the ceremony and his speech. He spoke to his soldiers of always being professional and how proud they have made him and his joy to work for them. My husband is truly a good man in EVERY sense of the word. I had several soldiers come up to me and say such nice things about him after the ceremony, bursts my buttons with pride. I know it will be hard for Sal to leave them, he truly has a love for them and his duty as a soldier. Somehow even when soldiers lose their way, he manages to help them help themselves and get back on their path. I admire that in him, I truly do.. He is tough as nails when he needs to be, but also loving and these young men and women know that. We will really miss our partners in crime, Capt. and Kristin Huff. We made a great team, which is sometimes hard to find in this life. I was presented roses and some Vera Bradley items(these people know me, they really know me LOL) So, we got home after the festivities and right away I could tell Sal was lost. He was fidgety and not liking this, LOL. So, he cleaned a little, played on FB.. I took my friend Laurie to Walmart and the Hospital, IN THAT ORDER, LOL She was in labor, so we walked and walked and then left.. They eventually sent her home, but I have a feeling that little stubborn bambino will be here very soon!! The staff at the hospital here at Ft Bliss were soo nice. I came home and went to bed. Sal slept in this morning until 0900!!!! 5 hours past his regular wake up time LMAO.. I ran in the room and said "honey, you are late, you are supposed to run the canyon today" he didnt buy it, he said haha, very funny... MUHAHHAHA.. I made him Breakfast in bed and he is now on his way to take cass to get her new ID card, gas up the truck and jeep and come home. He must really miss morning meetings because we had one this morning, where he told me his agenda, LOL Umm, IM not your XO mr!!!! Yeah, im thinking retirement wont be so good for him..Today is commissary and cleaning..BLAH!! We dont need many groceries, which is nice. We move into the hotel next week, yayy!!!!!!! Okay, have to get moving and get presentable.. Again, thank you to 4/1 for a fabulous send off of the big guy.. You will All be remembered and missed, more than you can every know. Kisses!!!

Letter to my friends here in El Paso

Okay ladies its getting to be time for me to set sail on a new adventure. I cant believe how fast its come and gone. Im excited about our last ladies night out, you all have provided many laughs, particulary this past year. It is MUCHO appreciated. So, this journal entry is dedicated to you my, EL Paso friends who I know will keep in touch with me. You are all more than welcome to come to Alaska and visit. You will always have a place to stay :) these are in NO particular order, LOL

To Kristin,

You have been my partner in crime during this year and it has been great. Im glad that we met and became fast friends. It has been fun getting to know you and Reese and the boys and Im glad you are moving to Washington, we will be able to visit and vice versa!! We have had such great laughs.. Miss you friend.

To Anna,

It has been such an honor to get to know you. You are one classy gal and I forsee such fabulous things for you and your sweety pie. Good luck in the ETS. Everytime I point my finger in a stern way, I crack up... all because of you :) Thanks for being on board with my sparkly vampire obsession, LOL

To Jennifer,

You my friend are an amazing lady and the toughest broad I know. I have had a great time getting to know you and the laughter we have had at the expense of PT cruiser owners makes me laugh as I type this. You too have been part of the sparkly vampire clique(we wont mention the traders, but their names rhyme with laurie and Misa ) LOL Enjoy the rest of the time here and get your school on and kick butt!

To Laurie,

Oh girl you make me laugh! You pit bull you! Thanks for the laughs. Im sure as Mike is an MP we will meet again somewhere down the road. Good luck with this new bebe and just remember, they outgrow that phase(that is always the mantra for baby number 2 for anyone LMAO, just warning you) You know im a FB message away :) I likes ya, eventhough you *gasp* dont like sparkly vampires that are damn hot

To Lisa,

You are such a sweet person its been a joy knowing you as well. Good luck to you and the big guy with Recruiting. You are such great mom to Anthony and just fun to be around. I have to repeat what I said to Laurie, about the sparkly vamps, LOL.. Who would have thought the insanity that is AWW would bring some of us together :)

To karen,

Stay strong here in El Paso!!! I hope soon you will get to PCS :) Its funny in like the 10 years I have "known" you, this was the place we got to meet in person. Gotta love the internet. Its been fun doing play dates and shooting the breeze. Ill miss you my friend :)

Donna, Donna, Donna,

what can I say.. We have become friends so quickly and now I have to leave:( Thank God for FB, right? You have been such a breath of fresh air during the deployment. We just love ya to do death. Come see us in Ak woman!!

Helen,

I have seen you blossom into such a fabulous military spouse. Be proud of what you accomplished this year. I see great things for you. Im glad we got to know each other and became friends. Venti Please!!! LOL Enjoy Ft Gordon!

Courtney and BRAINA!!!

thanks for being such a good friend. Ive enjoyed the fun we have all had and you did a FAB job this year.Im excited for you guys with the new baby and the new adventure that brings. Stay in touch little lady!!

Ciao bellas, Ciao!

Motherhood

SO, 21 years ago I became a mom. That moment was the most amazing moment of my life. Little did I know at that time that one day they would be old enough to leave the nest!! Someone SHOULD have really told me that 9 months before that, but nobody did.. You always know that time will come and typically you can't wait for them to turn 18 and fly, baby, fly! But that day indeed does come. When Nicholas joined the Army I remember the day Sal and I took him to the recruiters so they could take him to St Louis and bus him back to Ft Leonard Wood(weird I know, its how it goes though) And we were sitting in the office and the recruiter said something sort of not in a nice way to Nicholas and I went all mama bear and realized I can no longer protect him and I walked out of that office and bawled my eyes out-you know, THE UGLY CRY!!! So, he went off to Basic and we went back home where only 5 kids were left , yes I know ONLY 5 kids?? Well 5 is less than 6 and 1 less than id like. So, while I was sad, I knew nick would be okay. He was joining the Army, they would take care of him, he had a paycheck, education, etc.. Several months later, Ashlee informed us that she was going to Ft Hood to wait for Blake to come home and then they were getting married. Again, I bawled the ugly cry(I take them leaving so personally, LOL like WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?????) We had a nice wedding for Ashlee and Blake(whom we have known since he was a kid and love his parents) so I knew she would be okay, but there we went from 6 to 5 and now 4. 4??? What the hell do you do with only 4 kids? I cant cook for only 4 kids, 2 less kids is way to quiet and less chaotic for my liking. Well I realized well we still have 4 kids for a while so I wont give it another thought. Umm, wouldnt you know that Cassidy graduated and DOESNT want to go to Alaska with us.. UMM hell to the NO.. She is my baby girl, the baby that almost didnt make it 2 times in her life, my TINY and I do mean TINY baby girl.. How will she survive this cruel world without me taking care of her? Okay, so I have had the UGLY cry all week and I think I have lost 11lbs just in tears. I was thinking of doing a hunger strike for good measure, but it wont work.. DAMN us for making them responsible and wanting to achieve their goals.. DAMN DAMN DAMN that.. I have 2 years to prep for Tony leaving, so im stocking up on super glue, duct tape- why those things you ask? Well because im super gluing him to our house and the duct tape is so he cant scream for help, der! its weird, you are happy to have your kids grow up and do their thing but soo sad because they are growing up and want to do their thing.. I want to have all 6 kids around the table arguing and passing food, telling each other about their day, laughing and loving. I want to yell at them for leaving their laundry in the dryer for 2 days, for putting an empty milk jug back in the fridge, for just being kids. I have ONLY been a SAHM, that is it, its been my life and my everything. Now I have to look and think about where our lives will go next. Sure we still have Dominic and Roman for MANY years, but it just doesnt feel like MY NORMAL. I love you Nicholas, Ashlee, Cassidy, Anthony, Dominic and Roman. Bare with mama in her mentalness about you all growing up and leaving. One day our grandchildren will do the same and you will realize truly how much you were and are loved!!

Blah!

Well Cassidy has decided that she is going to stay in El Paso and go to UTEP this winter.. SHe doesnt want to go to Alaska with us and make new friends.. BOOOOOOOOOOOO Damn that whole i'm 18 and can do what I want crap! It pisses me off. On one hand I know she will do great, but the mama bear side of me is broken hearted. I dont like that they are growing up and moving out- THE TRAITORS!! First it was Nicholas, then Ashlee and now Cassidy.. I want them to be with me forever, I sincerly mean that. I like, no I LOVE having my kids around. So, she stays-for now.. Im hoping her mind changes yet again, we shall see..

I do know that in all of this I really do have the MOST AWESOME HUSBAND on earth.. Its the truth. He has hugged me and wiped away many tears today. He has been the voice of reason, eventhough I know he is sad that she wont be leaving with us to Ak. He really is beyond wonderful. I love you mucho, Sal.

He, SAL, will be my latest introduction. Where to start? Well we met when I was 15, although he had seen some pics of me and thought to himself that he would marry me one day (hello, can you say stalker? LOL) So, We met face to face and I didnt give it another thought. I started working at Bashas, where he worked and we over time became friends-eventually it became more than friends. I have always known Sal to be a wonderful man. When I was 17 my dad died and Sal took on the role of helping around our house, getting me and my little sister to where we needed to be. Just a nurturing fellow, which made me REALLY know I loved him truly. We got married at 18 by the JOP, not the best way to get married and certainly not my dream wedding with a borrowed dress, a pregnant belly and not a picture to be had, but I did know I loved him and knew it was the right thing to do. We have had our share of ups and downs like anyone else,but from the very beginning we knew we were a team and had to face things head on, good, bad or ugly. He joined the Army and left 1 week after our wedding. It would be the 1st experience in living apart and I think I did pretty well. I had our 1st child on June 3, 1989-alone. He was in Alabama making a future for us. Over the years he has taken me all over the world(partly in courtesy of the Army, LOL) and we have made ourselves a nice life. Its constant work, but the fruit of our labor is lots of love and understanding.

Bashizzy day!

Today Sal and I are doing the dreaded icky cleaning.. You know, the walls, baseboards, stove, fridge, etc... Scrubbing floors by hand, double blah.. but its looking nice, so that is what matters. Elbow grease goes alonnnng way! My husband is OBSESSED with the smell of bleach, it "ain't" clean if he didnt use bleach.(I, prefer to use natural cleaners like baking soda, lemon juice, steam, etc) But not Sal, he is all about the CLOROX.. So since he helps me clean, he can do it however he wants. Just part of getting the house in order for the big move. Right now the little guys are playing the xbox 360. They are amusing and QUIET.. Yeah I know video games arent fabulous parenting, BUT they can only play on Saturday and Sunday and that is even limited so it works for everyone in that I can get stuff done around the house and they stay out of mama's way! Speaking of my little guys, they are 2 more characters i'd like you to meet.

Dominic and Roman, they are 5 and 4 respectivly. They are amazing little guys. TERRORS but cute and amazing all rolled into them. We had the 1st 4 kids and didnt have the last 2 until our 4th was 12, so they are bonus babies and have provided ALL of us with something in our lives. Dominic is 5 but has the personality of a 35 year old. He uses very big words which is just funny to hear coming out of a tiny guy. Roman is a caveman and grunts alot, LOL they are the ying and yang to each other yet cant be more than 10 feet away from each other.. They NEED each other, they dont function right without the other. Its sweet really. Roman is the defender and NOBODY will EVER hurt his big brother, ever.. They say some CRAZY stuff which provides amusement over on facebook for my family and friends. They are getting very excited to move to Alaska. This is going to be Dominics 3rd PCS and Romans 2nd. They are typical annoying baby brothers to Tony, but he loves them and is very nice to them when nobody is looking, LOL BUT thinks we let them get away with everything and that we dont parent with an iron fist like we did with the 1st 4, LOL Which is partially true, we are strict to a point but alot more flexible with these 2, but I chalk that up to being "old" and "tired".. Right?? I was 18 when we had Nicholas and a few days shy of 35 when I had Dominic, so I have learned things over the years, LOL I probably didnt need to be so strict with our older kids, but there were 4 of them under 4 and only 1 of me, LOL Sal was just starting his Army career and an MP at that, so he was RARELY home and the majority of the child rearing fell into my lap, which was fine but in that I had to crack the whip and those kids were like little tin soldiers, LOL. Even now as a 21 year old man, when Nicholas goes to the store with me, he holds onto the cart in the VERY same spot he HAD to as a little child. I had a system to the commissary and out of habit he still does it, LOL its funny. But these little boys have really done alot for my sanity.. Im not sure what I would have done if they hadnt been in our lives. I heart them.