OPSEC or STFU!

So, very recently a soldier was killed downrange and his wife learned about it via social media. This is so disgustingly tragic, I cannot even begin to explain. The military has a system of notification that is in place-THAT WORKS... Some people have argued that the blame shouldn't be placed on the spouses-Umm, the hell it shouldn't! HOW DARE THEY! Initially of course soldiers are to blame too, because they told their significant others (HUGE VIOLATION and I hope that the commands discipline them right where it hurts-their pocket books) BUT we as spouses, well the ones that do in fact attend FRG meetings, command functions, AFTB, etc, we as spouses ARE told repeatedly about OPSEC and PERSEC.

OPSEC is as defined as- OPerations SECurity) Determining what information is publicly available in the normal course of operations that can be used by a competitor or enemy to its advantage. OPSEC is a common military practice that is also applied to civilian projects such as the development of new products and technologies.

PERSEC stands for Personal Security.
Do not post personal information anywhere on the internet, such as your address, phone number, place where you work, etc.

These soldiers and I use that term VERY loosely, started the violation, but the spouses with what I am sure of, is VAST knowledge, indeed know better and even if they didn't know about OPSEC, common sense would have come into play, at least I hope.. Sadly it did not. By violating OPSEC and by spouses posting all over the web about the tragic death of this young hero, they may have just encouraged commands to change their policies on communication. Many allow personal cell phones to be taken downrange and pretty good Internet and phone access. These wonderful examples of soldiers and spouses may have just changed the lives of MANY soldiers and family members. APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE-NOT. I am irritated by this on many levels, ONE, because I am a military spouse, a military mother and military mother in law and I would definitely have issues with spouses that were posting something about the death of my loved one ALL over the web. As I said earlier, the military has a system for this and it should be left to them to see it through. Those spouses and soldiers should be ashamed of themselves and I hope each time they see this topic on FB or Twitter, they feel sick to their stomachs and that the guilt eats away at them. These are peoples lives you are playing with! Think!!! OPSEC and PERSEC are very important and I hope that soldiers and family members learn more about it, because I am quite certain that ALL spouses would not want to hear about the death of their soldier via text, fb, twitter or any other way, except for how they should learn about it..

My prayers to the families of ALL soldiers that have paid the great sacrifice.

Reasons to fear retirement..

FOR ME!

So, retirement is coming very soon-2014 time frame to be exact. I AM SCURRED.. Why? Because currently we live in the most secure gated community we could ever live in, when we are, as our son calls them-"Regular People", we will have to live without weapon carrying guards at our gate, regular patrols through our neighborhoods and a world that while has crime at times, is still SUPER safe. Im scared to live with regular people, what if I dont like them? What if they irritate me? Im my current world if I don't like someone, I know in a couple of years one of us will move, OR if they are REALLY horrible, their leadership can step in and make them behave, or attempt anyway. Its scary. Our babies will be going to school with mostly non military children-we havn't ever dealt with that. Im not sure how easy it will be for me to be planted in 1 spot forever. Now I get very itchy to move every few years and wonderfully, the Army is great for that-haha. Im excited too, it will be nice to be settled, nice to plant some roots and most importantly, no more deployments-That excites me the most, I won't lie. I hope the civilian world is ready for Mary....

23 years ago...

23 years ago, the US Army took a chance on a kid from Arizona, a kid that had NO military history in his background, not with family, ROTC, etc... Just a young man ready to take care of his young and new family and wanting to serve his country. Sal left on February 22, 1989-It had been a busy month for us, we had just gotten married and were nearly done with our first pregnancy! I was living with my sister in law, Michelle and SCARED! Being an Army Brat is very different than being an Army spouse-and I was about to find out and learn from the school of hard knocks. So Sal left, I cried and thought I would never see him again. I wondered how would I give birth by myself without him? 12 weeks was going to be a very long time.... A few days later I got a phone call stating he was fine and in Alabama and PS-it would be 16 weeks, NOT 12!!! Should have known then that we were on Army time and not our own. 16 weeks DRAGGED by, I gave birth to our 1st child, Nicholas, I moved back home with my mom, our nephew became very sick. I was scared, but I did it!!! HE did it!! We flew to Alabama to watch him graduate. When they soldiers marched into the area I swear they all looked the same and Sals grandma took pics of all of them, claiming they were each Sal, LOL.. Finally I saw him, his beautiful clear, honest and good blue eyes, sparkling with equal excitement in seeing me and our son he had yet to meet. The Drill Sgt knew that the baby I held was Sals and tormented him a bit while they were in formation, he even came over and oohed and ahhhed over him and held him-all while looking right at Sal. Poor Sal, his newborn son was 5 feet away from him being held by his DS. They finally released them and we had our hugs and kisses and Sal just couldnt stop staring in amazement at this little boy we just welcomed into the world. He counted his fingers and his toes, kissed him and cuddled with him. The smile on Sals face was priceless. It was WONDERFUL being with him again. I missed my best friend, I missed his smile, his gentleness, his love. The next day was graduation day-It was JUNE in ALABAMA, so you can imagine how hot and sticky it was. We sat on a bus and were driven to the theater for the ceremony. Sal looked amazing with his green uniform and 2 ribbons, to me he looked as wonderful as a 4 star General!!! He graduated and then I had to leave without him. His Top secret clearance still wasnt done and he had to wait until it was. BOOOO, so we said our see you laters and the baby and I headed back to Az, where I would start packing up and prepping for our 1st PCS to Virginia. He ended up coming home 2 days later and we were reunited!!! We loaded up our uhaul (why we got a uhaul, I will never know, everything we owned could have fit into my trunk, LOL.. And we said goodbye to Arizona, our families and our childhood... We were grown ups now and on our way to our new life. This life would prove rough sometimes and there were times I thought I couldnt live this way, but always, Sal comforted me and listened to me and made it better. We made it, we survived on 800.00 a month, we made do and went wherever the Army told us to go. The Army allowed us an adventure that is indeed priceless. Certainly it came with sacrifices-MANY, but always worth it. We were and are a team in this. So, to my Love,
-Thank you for the adventure you have given me. Thank you for serving this beautiful country and making a difference in so many lives. You have become an AMAZING NCO in the Army and I hope you always know how proud we are of you. Thanks for being a decent and good man at home and at work, thank you for reminding other soldiers that FAMILY is an important part of the ARMY and to live right and true for both. Thank you for having respect for military spouses and reminding those that needed it at times, that the spouses and children of soldiers also make sacrifices and that you felt they had it harder than you did, LOL.. My words can never describe the love and respect I have for you,my sweet man... Im fine with whenever you want to retire.

With much love-

Household six :)

What a week!

Hello my dolls! I've been gone much too long! So this has been a crazy week for me, has it been that way with you? So, lets catch up. The 7th was my bday and I turned 41, thought it would be hard but it actually wasn't hard at all. I feel the same as 40 and really even the same as 29. My co workers-who are AWESOME, decorated my office and had me all kinds of wonderful socks and gifts of pink, they also treated me to Glacier Brew House for lunch and yummo chocolate cake, it was a wonderful day of work. My family spoiled me with goodies as well. All in all it was wonderful. The 13th came and went and that is the anniversary of my fathers death. That is always sad, no way around that at all-but it is what it is and I know he is proud of us and misses us just as much as we miss him. Valentines day was yesterday, which is also our wedding anniversary and we celebrated 23 years of marriage, 23 years of military marriage at that, LOL. So I want to take this moment to tell my love what he means to me.

Sal,

Wow!!! 23 years, can you believe it? It really seems like only yesterday that we said "I do" What a whirlwind of a life we have had. We went into this life together with such hope and dreams and plans, its been great figuring this all out with you. I love that I can ALWAYS count on you. I'm glad you are my partner in crime. You make me laugh and cry and everything in between. I know I at times make you crazy like when I leave the butter out and I know you LOVE my iphone and the fun candid shots I post on facebook :) Thank you for being the BEST dad I know. It isnt ever hard being a father, but to 6 kids is just WACKADOODLE, you make it seem effortless though. I love that our kids see your sweet and sensitive side and know how a MAN should treat a lady. Im also greatful that you are such a hard worker and have sacrificed sooo much for our family, this country and the Army. You set such a wonderful example.. I love you. I love that I get to see the softer side of MSG URZI, I have seen you cry with the births of our babies and when you have walked a daughter down the aisle. Ive seen you walk away with tears as you said goodbye to them for deployments. You amaze me every day of my life.. Thanks for this journey.. I love you

Mary-Real and True

So today I got to thinking about who I really am. Of course I am the obvious-Daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, co worker, etc.. When I was young, I was DEFINATELY a people pleaser, too a fault really. Always eager to please my parents but never quite cutting it with my mom. I always thought if I lived how THEY wanted me to live, that I would be the perfect child....In doing that I really lost myself at a very young age. At almost 41, i'm finally almost exactly who I want to me-THE REAL ME.. I wished I would have realized this at a much younger age, haha.. C'est La Vie, nes pas? So, I want to introduce you to ME.. Well, the me I am today.

I'm Mary. I am still the wife of Sal, mom to Nicholas, Ashlee, Cassidy, Anthony, Dominic and Roman. Sister to Ronni, BFF to Julie, Daughter to Susie, Ron and Tom, HAPPILY the MiMi to Dominic G, Kaydence M and Nicholas G. I shoot from the hip and I am honest. You may not always like what I have to say, but you WILL get the truth. Im PASSIONATE about my family and will love and defend them to the death. I no longer have room in my life for people who are takers and takers only. Life is too short. I am semi high maintenance, I love some luxuries in life. I can be a snob, I won't lie, it is NOT my favorite quality about myself, but it is the truth. I have regrets and failures-trying to always work on that, not sure how. Here are some of my regrets and how I want to try and get over them.

*Not having my dream wedding-It is what it is and whilst we didn't have a wedding, we are married just the same. He is the best thing in my life and THAT is what is important.(I tell my brain this all the time, but on the flip side, it sucks. I would have made a lovely bride and it would have been nice to have a picture or 2)

*Not being as forgiving as I should-People change and bygones, should be just that really. Somethings are hard to forgive, but they must be forgiven to lighten the load.

*Getting my education-I still have time, i'm not THAT OLD, LOL.

*Never making time for grown up vacations with my guy-We are trying to remedy that, well I am trying.. Sal isn't a great tryer in regards to vacations, but hey, everyone has faults :).

*Letting people make me feel guilty-TAKE NOTE, that will NOT be happening anymore...

*Not speaking up when I should-Again, take NOTE, that will not happen again.

*Not following my dreams-One of the biggest regrets, one that cannot change really and PROBABLY for me the hardest to let go.

Life is just too short to not live the way you want to. I certainly don't want to die, knowing I lived how everyone else wanted me to and not how I wanted to.

My military spouse advice du jour:

I love being an Army spouse and I am not ashamed to say it.. Lately I have seen so many negative topics about it and frankly it irritates me. This can be a wonderful experience or it can be hell, your choice, so suck it up buttercups. If you don't like it, then have a chit chat with your soldier and figure it out, but do NOT make others suffer your wrath of negativity. Yep, soldiers work long hours and yes pay gets messed up and yes we go through deployments-But we all come out of those. I can tell you that 20 plus years goes by in the blink of an eye, but being a negative nancy will make that 20 years seem like a zillion.

That is all for now-smooches!

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! I cannot believe its nearly 2012!!! We have approx 3.5 hours until we reach 2012, so I wanted to blog a bit. This year has had its ups and downs and MANY learning experiences, had some disapointments, some struggles, some successes and failures. C'est La Vie! As my wonderful husband always tells me when I am being a negative Nelly-"Honey, its life and it isnt perfect, but its all good in the end." Boy, I hate when he is right but glad he reels me back in. One thing that never changes is my love for my family and friends, you KNOW who you are. You bring fun and love and happiness to our lives.

Im very proud of our 6 kids as well. Nicholas came back safely from Iraq and is now with his wife, Megan and their son, Deuce.They are all together at Ft Bliss and planting their roots. Our oldest grandson, Gbaby, lives in Missouri with his mom Paige and they are doing well too. Ashlee, Blake and Kaydence are still on recruiting duty in Tennessee and LOVING living there. Ashlee is training to be an optical tech and having a great time. Cassidy and her partner, Katie are doing awesome and have a cute apartment, new jobs and Cass is plugging away at college. Anthony is in his Sr Year and working hard to graduate, still playing basketball. He now has a girlfriend, Dana and we just love her to bits. They are really cute together and i'm proud of them both. Dominic and Roman are crazy as ever and always have me laughing or pulling out my hair, sometimes at the same time. They are both doing great in school and LIVE to be outside, even in this frozen tundra. They both got their first guns and are ready to shoot. Sal is awesome, he truly is the best man I have ever known and he makes me so very happy. 2012 will bring our 23rd Anniversary AND 23 years in the Army. Hard to believe 23 years for both. He is still hemming and hawing about retirement, LOL... Right now he is the Provost for the Ft Richardson side of JBER and also the Liason to the AF Security Forces, he really does enjoy it, but REALLY misses having soldiers to lead(He is so awesome at that) But maybe next duty station. I had a great 2011 in the working aspect. I got what I refer to as my 1st grown up job, LOL.. I've been a stay at home mama for 23 years, so working was VERY scary for me. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my job and who I work with, its a GREAT group of people and they have been patient and helpful to me. 2012 I hope will be a wonderful year for all my friends and family. I hope we all meet our goals, or have fun attempting, I hope we learn good lessons and realize what is important. I also hope 2012 brings home more soldiers to their loved ones. I am so over deployments!!! I wish for strength, patience and understanding to those spouses that are holding down the fort. Remember, each day that passes is 1 closer to the reunion. Keep strong and keep the faith.

So much..

Well, it's been a long while since I last blogged. I have been busy with the holidays, kids, work, helping out with events at work and consumed by some icky news. A few months ago I went to the ER for kidney stones and they found a mass in my abdomen, so I had to wait to get more images so they could see if it has grown and lucky me, it has. Later next week, I will be having a contrast MRI and then we will go from there. The Dr. Called the mass, suspicious-SIDENOTE, I dislike that word.. I really had a moment and still do from time to time, because I am an over-worrier. I worry about everyone and everything, it is a character flaw really. I keep thinking what ifs?? What if this was my last Christmas? What if I dont see my older kids again? What will happen to my sweetheart? etc.. Its ridiculous, I know, but it is what it is. I'm not scared to die-that is the Gods honest truth, I really am not. What I am scared of is leaving those I love. Who will be Julie's BFF? Who will be Ronni's big sissy? Who will make sure the little boys match their clothes? Who will buy Tony his pricey kicks?(It surely will not be Sal, he makes sure the 6 kids know they only have clothes and shoes because of me, LOL) So, enough of this nonsense and onto fun things..

To my friends with loved ones deployed, keep on keeping on. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and you are doing a wonderful job. It isnt easy to do this. It isn't easy to answer the questions from the little ones like "Why isnt mommy/daddy here for Christmas?, Why is mommy/daddy so far away? And the ever popular statement-" I want mommy/daddy, not you!!!" that is a heart breaker, but they don't REALLY mean it(not always anyway) Make sure you are having some "ME" time and some time with grown ups. Get away and have dinner with some friends, sans kids. It is worth the investment of a great babysitter!!! Don't be a martyr and try and "suffer" for this deployment. I can assure you your soldier wants you to be happy, get out and do things and keep your life as normal as possible. Those of you that have older kids and teens, they will at times TRY and manipulate you and your feelings. Hold strong and steady, they secretly want you to say NO, they want you to keep things the way they should, they want boundries, so stay strong!! Call back-up if you need to. Remember, while your soldier is the backbone of the military-you are the heart, the soul and the stability. Kisses...