Tears, laughter and pride

Well, yesterday was it for us here at Ft Bliss. Sal had his COR (Change of responsibility). Sal choked back MANY a tear yesterday during the ceremony and his speech. He spoke to his soldiers of always being professional and how proud they have made him and his joy to work for them. My husband is truly a good man in EVERY sense of the word. I had several soldiers come up to me and say such nice things about him after the ceremony, bursts my buttons with pride. I know it will be hard for Sal to leave them, he truly has a love for them and his duty as a soldier. Somehow even when soldiers lose their way, he manages to help them help themselves and get back on their path. I admire that in him, I truly do.. He is tough as nails when he needs to be, but also loving and these young men and women know that. We will really miss our partners in crime, Capt. and Kristin Huff. We made a great team, which is sometimes hard to find in this life. I was presented roses and some Vera Bradley items(these people know me, they really know me LOL) So, we got home after the festivities and right away I could tell Sal was lost. He was fidgety and not liking this, LOL. So, he cleaned a little, played on FB.. I took my friend Laurie to Walmart and the Hospital, IN THAT ORDER, LOL She was in labor, so we walked and walked and then left.. They eventually sent her home, but I have a feeling that little stubborn bambino will be here very soon!! The staff at the hospital here at Ft Bliss were soo nice. I came home and went to bed. Sal slept in this morning until 0900!!!! 5 hours past his regular wake up time LMAO.. I ran in the room and said "honey, you are late, you are supposed to run the canyon today" he didnt buy it, he said haha, very funny... MUHAHHAHA.. I made him Breakfast in bed and he is now on his way to take cass to get her new ID card, gas up the truck and jeep and come home. He must really miss morning meetings because we had one this morning, where he told me his agenda, LOL Umm, IM not your XO mr!!!! Yeah, im thinking retirement wont be so good for him..Today is commissary and cleaning..BLAH!! We dont need many groceries, which is nice. We move into the hotel next week, yayy!!!!!!! Okay, have to get moving and get presentable.. Again, thank you to 4/1 for a fabulous send off of the big guy.. You will All be remembered and missed, more than you can every know. Kisses!!!

Motherhood

SO, 21 years ago I became a mom. That moment was the most amazing moment of my life. Little did I know at that time that one day they would be old enough to leave the nest!! Someone SHOULD have really told me that 9 months before that, but nobody did.. You always know that time will come and typically you can't wait for them to turn 18 and fly, baby, fly! But that day indeed does come. When Nicholas joined the Army I remember the day Sal and I took him to the recruiters so they could take him to St Louis and bus him back to Ft Leonard Wood(weird I know, its how it goes though) And we were sitting in the office and the recruiter said something sort of not in a nice way to Nicholas and I went all mama bear and realized I can no longer protect him and I walked out of that office and bawled my eyes out-you know, THE UGLY CRY!!! So, he went off to Basic and we went back home where only 5 kids were left , yes I know ONLY 5 kids?? Well 5 is less than 6 and 1 less than id like. So, while I was sad, I knew nick would be okay. He was joining the Army, they would take care of him, he had a paycheck, education, etc.. Several months later, Ashlee informed us that she was going to Ft Hood to wait for Blake to come home and then they were getting married. Again, I bawled the ugly cry(I take them leaving so personally, LOL like WHY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME?????) We had a nice wedding for Ashlee and Blake(whom we have known since he was a kid and love his parents) so I knew she would be okay, but there we went from 6 to 5 and now 4. 4??? What the hell do you do with only 4 kids? I cant cook for only 4 kids, 2 less kids is way to quiet and less chaotic for my liking. Well I realized well we still have 4 kids for a while so I wont give it another thought. Umm, wouldnt you know that Cassidy graduated and DOESNT want to go to Alaska with us.. UMM hell to the NO.. She is my baby girl, the baby that almost didnt make it 2 times in her life, my TINY and I do mean TINY baby girl.. How will she survive this cruel world without me taking care of her? Okay, so I have had the UGLY cry all week and I think I have lost 11lbs just in tears. I was thinking of doing a hunger strike for good measure, but it wont work.. DAMN us for making them responsible and wanting to achieve their goals.. DAMN DAMN DAMN that.. I have 2 years to prep for Tony leaving, so im stocking up on super glue, duct tape- why those things you ask? Well because im super gluing him to our house and the duct tape is so he cant scream for help, der! its weird, you are happy to have your kids grow up and do their thing but soo sad because they are growing up and want to do their thing.. I want to have all 6 kids around the table arguing and passing food, telling each other about their day, laughing and loving. I want to yell at them for leaving their laundry in the dryer for 2 days, for putting an empty milk jug back in the fridge, for just being kids. I have ONLY been a SAHM, that is it, its been my life and my everything. Now I have to look and think about where our lives will go next. Sure we still have Dominic and Roman for MANY years, but it just doesnt feel like MY NORMAL. I love you Nicholas, Ashlee, Cassidy, Anthony, Dominic and Roman. Bare with mama in her mentalness about you all growing up and leaving. One day our grandchildren will do the same and you will realize truly how much you were and are loved!!

Blah!

Well Cassidy has decided that she is going to stay in El Paso and go to UTEP this winter.. SHe doesnt want to go to Alaska with us and make new friends.. BOOOOOOOOOOOO Damn that whole i'm 18 and can do what I want crap! It pisses me off. On one hand I know she will do great, but the mama bear side of me is broken hearted. I dont like that they are growing up and moving out- THE TRAITORS!! First it was Nicholas, then Ashlee and now Cassidy.. I want them to be with me forever, I sincerly mean that. I like, no I LOVE having my kids around. So, she stays-for now.. Im hoping her mind changes yet again, we shall see..

I do know that in all of this I really do have the MOST AWESOME HUSBAND on earth.. Its the truth. He has hugged me and wiped away many tears today. He has been the voice of reason, eventhough I know he is sad that she wont be leaving with us to Ak. He really is beyond wonderful. I love you mucho, Sal.

He, SAL, will be my latest introduction. Where to start? Well we met when I was 15, although he had seen some pics of me and thought to himself that he would marry me one day (hello, can you say stalker? LOL) So, We met face to face and I didnt give it another thought. I started working at Bashas, where he worked and we over time became friends-eventually it became more than friends. I have always known Sal to be a wonderful man. When I was 17 my dad died and Sal took on the role of helping around our house, getting me and my little sister to where we needed to be. Just a nurturing fellow, which made me REALLY know I loved him truly. We got married at 18 by the JOP, not the best way to get married and certainly not my dream wedding with a borrowed dress, a pregnant belly and not a picture to be had, but I did know I loved him and knew it was the right thing to do. We have had our share of ups and downs like anyone else,but from the very beginning we knew we were a team and had to face things head on, good, bad or ugly. He joined the Army and left 1 week after our wedding. It would be the 1st experience in living apart and I think I did pretty well. I had our 1st child on June 3, 1989-alone. He was in Alabama making a future for us. Over the years he has taken me all over the world(partly in courtesy of the Army, LOL) and we have made ourselves a nice life. Its constant work, but the fruit of our labor is lots of love and understanding.