Monday, February 14, 2011

sad day

my sister, Ronni and our dad at her bday party!!!
my father and I

23 years ago today, I saw my father for the last time.. I was 17 and my sister was 11... He died quickly and painlessly of a massive heart attack. My little sister was sitting in the backyard with him when it happened.. He was only 38, I am now 2 years older than he. I miss him, Ronni misses him, my mom misses him and we are all sad that he misses out on all the wonderful things that have happened over the years. I like to think he watches us and there have been MANY times, little things have reminded me of him and makes me believe he is watching me.. Anytime a Marty Robbins song comes on, I cant help but stop and remember how at peace my dad looked listening to him sing. Anytime I hear "all the gold" by the oakridge boys, I have a chuckle, because he and Ronni and actions to that song and he would play it over and over and we would all bust a gut laughing. I remember him teaching me how to make an omelet and attempting at giving me lessons in understanding football(he was wasting his breath, LOL, and he knew it, but he tried anytime he could) I remember there wasnt a holiday that went by without a cute little gift for me, my sister and my mom. He was a great father. I cant ever imagine him having sons.. His girls were his life! He even curled our hair for school when we were little, if my mom couldnt do it. Of course like any father, he was be embarrassing, when you were 14 and act a fool in front of your friends, but id give ANYTHING, for those moments. I always felt safe when he was home, he was so big and strong and manly. He set the bar very high for Ronni and I, in what to ask for in a partner, but I think he would be proud of his sons in law. Its sad when someone dies and you start forgetting things like how they smelled, or the sound of their laugh, when that happens I really have to concentrate on it, I honestly cant remember what his voice sounded like though. I can however remember his laugh when I stop and think about it. I just miss him so much! A girl shouldnt lose her father, ever.. Daddy's should live forever, I think..

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