Thursday, February 10, 2011

You want the truth?

Okay, so im watching the pregnancy pact on LMN and I just want to slap these girls! I was a teenage mother.. Me, Mary Simpson-Urzi, was a statistic.... I got pregnant at 17, dropped out of high school, married at 18.. I THOUGHT I knew it all and didnt need school, thought it was cute that I was having a baby.. HA! Double HA! It isnt romantic or cute to be a teenager in school and pregnant. Even under the best circumstances its hard... I LOVED high school, loved everything about it, BUT you quickly learn who your true friends are when this happens, so there goes that support.. You dissapoint your family, again there goes that support.. You dissapoint yourself and paralyze your future... So, yes I married the father of my unborn baby, quietly with no beautiful fanfare, in secresy.. Not even a picture.. So, yes Sal and I married and had a few things GOING for us-1, he was joining the Army so we had that stability, 2-we had housing allowance, 3-medical benefits, 4-on the same sheet of music with our relationship and were ready for the hardknocks.. And there were PLENTY of them... Sal had to work 2 jobs (the army and in his off time at a dairy in Va) He did this for many reasons, but most importantly to provide extra income to his new little family(we didnt get WIC, or any other assistance) And diapers arent cheap, infact diapers, baby food, wipes, just basic needs of a wee one can bankrupt a budget faster than congress takes a vacation... So, poor Sal was working 12 hour shifts, and working HOURS at a dairy.. Why didnt I have a job? Because daycare is EXPENSIVE annnnd high school dropouts dont get hired on at well paying jobs-TYPICALLY. So, we agreed that he would work the extra job and I would stay home(isolated alot.. In a new town, no family or friends around, nada.. Just me and the bebe) It was very hard not to complain about him never being home to help when he WAS helping!! Then surprise surprise, we were getting ready for another bundle of joy.. Now that is 3 mouths to feed on an E2 pay(less than 1k a month) We had to buy a new car that would fit 2 carseats, so that was yet another bill for us. We then recieved orders for Germany.. I did eventually get my deploma(im not COMPLETLEY stupid) But it was a long road.. Sal and I had many roadblocks along the road, even times were werent sure our marriage would succeed. Times I felt and sometimes still feel that I havnt been able to do some of the things that I wanted to do, just for me.. My whole world is about my husband and our children and now grandchildren.. My life has been devoted to them... Which I have LOVED doing, but there have BEEN MANY arguments about Sal following his dreams because I have been here to take care of the homefront and not vice versa... Its hard.. you feel torn, underappreciated, worn out and all before you are 30! Yes it is true, I wouldnt ever change my life because I feel it has made me stronger and better, BUT it was hard.. When we are 16 and THINK we know what we want in life, I can promise you that TYPICALLY it wont be what you want in your 20's and 30's... THINK before you have unprotected sex(abstinance would be MUCHO better, but im realistic) Think that for the rest of your life you will be taking care of a human being, striving to always teach him/her to be a good person, do the right thing, etc.. That is serious business.. Just think that a few moments of "fun" can lead to a lifetime of responsability before you are really ready.. So, back to this movie. OMG, a whole group of girls planned and got pregnant in 1 town.. FOR WHAT? crazy girls!!!


  1. Very well said Mary! I too was a teen mom though I found out I was pregnant days before I graduated HS I have yet to go to college. Sometimes I see people my own age and all the traveling or going out they get to do and think to myself should I have waited? Then I look at my beautiful kids and realize everything good about the past 7 years has involved them. By no means am I trying to glamorize teen pregnancy because like you said it isn't and there were definitely some hard ships but hopefully one day my kids will be grateful they had a responsible mom who even though was young always put them first and did whatever it took for them to succeed.

  2. Ashley, you are too a success story :) You probably went into parenting with a realistic head and heart :) I, like you, feel greatful I was able to take the journey that I have.

  3. Mary I really liked this blog and it really touched home. I am a teen mom that has made a very good life with my hard working husband. Anyway we will have to get together and share stories. Thanks for writing this!